Hopeful Pessimist

Y’all, March 2019 has NOT been a good month for my family, and its only the 7th. I was in the hospital with vertigo, we’ve been battling colds, runny noses, ear infections, and viruses left and right it seems. Today we had to make the call to miss a class we’ve had scheduled for months. If you haven’t heard me mention it, we’re in the process of becoming foster care certified in the state of Florida. Saturday was supposed to be our second of three classes, now we will have to make it up in May which will push becoming certified back at least a month.

For as long as I can remember I have had far too easy of a time finding the flaws in situations. If you needed someone to tell you why a plan was doomed to fail, I was your person. Not because I wanted the plan to fail, I’ve just always been more of a plan for the worst & hope for the best kind of person. But recently (and still very slowly) God has been working on my pessimism.

Today, as I made that call delaying our plans, I could have easily decided to find the negative and let Satan get a foothold to plant seeds of doubt, fear, or discontentment. Honestly, if not for a quiet voice in my head I more than likely would be about 1/2 way through a pity party instead of typing this. Just as I was about to start pulling out the party decorations ALL I could think was, maybe you’re missing this class because the kid(s) that need you, aren’t ready for you yet.

It was SUCH an out of character thought for me and made me feel incredibly blessed to see the changes seeking a relationship with God has produced not just in my life, but also in how I respond to things. I guess I can go ahead and add reformed pessimist to my resume, right under recovering micro-manager.

“I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in him. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit.”

Romans 15:13 NLT

I am choosing to put one shaky leg in front of the other, building my life on confident hope, because I KNOW that in the midst of all the struggles and uncertainties, my God is certain and that He has a plan & a purpose for my life. (Jeremiah 29:11)

-Steph

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